Little Quinn. Well,
you are not so little anymore, you are 5 months old! I can’t believe the time has flown by. I was going through my emails this morning,
looking for your birth announcement because one of my friends said that they
never got it. I never found it, but I was
rereading all of our adventures of our first week together. You really scared momma, and even reading
about it put me in tears, even though now, you are as healthy and perfect as
perfect can be. Despite that first large
bump in the road, you are growing more and more every day. Every time I look at your pictures, I want to
reach out and hold you. You are my
everything, and I don’t know how I ever survived in this world without you.
This past month, a lot has happened with everyone and
everything around us. It has been rough
and fun, and full of adventure, both the good and the bad kind. I don’t even know where to begin. First, our housing situation was in
jeopardy. The air conditioning went out,
and our landlord basically told us that we were lucky it wasn’t something
major, and that it was an easy fix because he couldn’t afford to fix anything
for us, and would give us a 30-days to vacate notice should anything else go
wrong. That really freaked me and dad
out. It’s one thing to put us on the
street, we can be nomads if need be, but we have you now. You to care for, you who needs a stable, and comfortable
home; you, who needs so many things that moving from place to place, cannot be
provided. I was really scared for the
first few days. Scared and angry. For once in our lives, daddy and I switched
roles. He was the one freaking out about
what the plan was going to be, and telling us we had to move, move, move, and I
was the one who wanted to ride it out, and see where life was going to take
us. Don’t expect that to ever happen
again. We are still in the same place,
but still keeping our eyes open. I want
to find a good home that we can be in for a few years. Something not too crowded something I won’t
fear for you to walk around in, when the time comes, or even for you to crawl
around. I always told myself I didn’t
want to have children while living in an apartment, because an apartment is so
temporary, so not homey. Unfortunately,
thanks to our mistakes, we can’t provide you with a home to grow up in now,
either. I guess I should have clarified
my future thoughts with “rentals” versus “apartments” because, we may be in a
house right now, but it is not ours, and it is definitely not our “home.” Someday we will have one for you, and
hopefully, that will be the only home you remember, one filled with love, and
laughter. The middle of the month also
brought about a LOT of changes. In the
same week your dad finally got back to a normal schedule at work, you got back
to a normal sleep schedule (rather quickly, I might add), and you started day
care. Your dad learned of his new
schedule on a Thursday morning, he went to work that night, stayed up as late
as he could Friday, and then spent all weekend with you. I pretty much only saw you when you were
hungry. It was the first time he
actually got to enjoy you in all your glory and you got to enjoy him. You were both so happy, and I am so excited
that this opportunity fell in his lap.
That Monday, he started his new shift, Monday through Friday, 8 am to 5
pm, like a normal dad, he also started school that day, and that Wednesday, you
started day care. We are starting to
shape up like the all-American family.
Day care was really rough on me.
I didn’t want to trust someone else, someone I didn’t even know to take
care of you for any extended period of time, much less 10 hours a day, 5 days a
week. Although this is one of the best
day cares in the city, we got off to a bit of a rocky start, but I think things
are ok now. You had no problems with them;
it was just your crazy parents who did.
You love daycare. They sent me
pictures of your first day there, and you were smiling in both of them. You are smiling when we drop you off, and
smiling when we pick you up. You get
wagon rides, and lots of cuddles, they absolutely adore you, and I’m pretty
sure you enjoy it there too. I cried
your first day, and then sat at home for 9 hours wondering what you were doing,
and didn’t do much else. It was my first
day without you ever, and I was pretty lost.
It’s still hard to drop you off every day, but I’m doing better. I come home now and look for jobs, cook, or
clean. I’m still not working, and I really
want to have you by my side all the time, but I need to get used to not having
you there, and I also need to get things done around the house. About an hour before I get to pick you up, I get
antsy, and can’t wait to see you. It’s
like that last hour before you get to go home from work or school. It’s so close, but so far. Someday you will know what I am talking
about.
At your 4-month checkup (which was almost two weeks after
you turned 4 months), you weighed 13 lbs. ½ an oz. You just now fit perfectly into 3-month-old
clothing. I am slowly starting to have
to pack away your 0-3 month clothes, which is not as traumatic as I thought it
would be, because you have a LOT of clothes.
At your appointment, you got shots, and this time you didn’t crash out, and
you were miserable for a few days. I
felt so bad, and you were so cranky. The
doctor said that we could start trying out solid foods starting with cereal if
you showed any interest in it. You
already get cereal in your bottles to help you keep it down, but I made up a
bowl of cereal for you to eat, and you had no real interest in it. I will try again next month, but I won’t
pressure you at all. The more food you
eat, the less bonding time you and I get, so I’m being selfish with it. You don’t truly need to start exploring with
solid foods anyway until you’re a year old.
The doctor also suggested that we let to start drinking from a cup. She personally doesn’t like sippy cups, and recommended
little bathroom cups. She showed us how
to give you about an ounce of water in one, and you drank it so fast, as if we
were starving you. We didn’t have any
bathroom cups at home, so I gave you my old Tommee Tippee Cup to try and you loved it. You got the hang of it right away, and you
could tell how proud of yourself that you were when you first used it. Daddy, going with doctors’ orders, didn’t
want to use a sippee cup, so we went out and bought a bottle with handles and a
bottle like nipple that had 3 stages (bottle nipple, a square-ish nipple to
transition you to a sippee cup type drinking device, and eventually cup) but I think
it was too big, and you weren’t really digging it.
Developmentally, you can now roll from your tummy to your
back, and your back to your tummy, but not back to your original starting
position. Not sure why you do it that
way, but you will figure it out. It
turns out tummy time is not as traumatic as you originally thought, and for the
last week, when I come in to get you in the morning, you are either fast asleep
on your tummy (you sleep in almost the same exact position as your momma!) or
you are on your tummy trying to crawl around, and usually making a ruckus. On your first day of day care, dad saw
another baby (who is a few months older than you are) on her back grabbing her
feet and rolling back and forth. He
thought it was so cute, and talked to you about grabbing your feet, and doing
it too. In the next few days, you did
it, and he was overjoyed. He loves when
you do it every time. You are a smart
little cookie, and I don’t think people give babies enough credit for what they
know. You are at the age that we can
start teaching you sign language to communicate better, and while we are eager
to do so, we can’t find out little book we got for you. Chaos is our life, and maybe someday we will
get our act together, but probably not.
I think, despite no real effort going into it, you are learning to wave
as a greeting. You often lift up your
hand when people enter or leave a room, or when we come to pick you up from day
care, and someone says “bye” to you. You’re
somewhat shy about it at first, and you hesitatingly put your hand up, but
every now and then, you will shake it at them.
We recently got you a Taggie toy. It’s simply a sewn triangular piece of fabric
with various tags hanging off it.
Simple, but you love it. We’ve
attached it to your car seat, and pretty much, it’s our “go-to” toy of the
moment. You still really enjoy your
swing, but I think you like it too much sometimes, and although you are nowhere
near the 25-pound weight limit, you get so excited, and so carried away with
kicking for joy, you shake it, and it scares me a little. This weekend we are going to the zoo pending
the weather. I’m excited to see your
reaction to all the animals, but I think you will like the monkeys the most,
unless they have some underwater animals.
Daddy fully plans to parade you around on his shoulders the entire
time. I think he might have to fight
grandpa for it, and I have a feeling that excitement will end the second time
you spit up on his head. I’m giving you
a freebie because he will probably be wearing a hat, and won’t mind until you
actually make it to his hair.
I love you!
Love,
Momma
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