Nineteen Months.

Wow.  So much has changed in the last seven months.  SO MUCH.

You are my little ray of sunshine.  Most mornings (at least the ones where you end up in our bed at some point during the night), you wake up and pleasantly say, “HI!” to anyone in the room.  Sometimes if we are super sleepy, and you are not, you will crawl out of the bed, ever so quietly, and then start playing with the cabinets very loudly; to make sure we are awake right along with you.  You eat breakfast, usually on your own, and I am convinced it is your favorite meal of the day.  Rarely do you throw any of your breakfast to the ground, and usually you eat every bite, which is uncommon for other meals.  The rest of your day usually consists of singing, dancing, and taking care of all of your babies.  You are such a good momma to them.  You are always so excited when Daddy gets home; I’m not sure who is more thrilled to see who, you or him.  Your days are always filled with hugs, kisses, and laughter.

In July, your little sister, Harper, was born.  You are so in love with her, and are such a great big sister.  You always want to hold her, and love on her.  You make sure you kiss her goodnight, every night, even if the rest of us don’t get any love from you.  You were excited when I was pregnant with her, but I was really nervous about when she was actually here, but you do great.  Your reaction when you first met her was priceless; your face has never been so filled with happiness.  You always want to know what’s going on with her, and even in your young age, you can’t quite “defend” her yet, but you keep a watchful eye if someone other than momma or daddy is holding her.  You love to cuddle with her on the floor, try to rock her in the swing, try to share your food with her, and give her her binky.  Even if she already has a binky, you will take hers away, just to give it back to her.  I hope this continues in your life.  Since she is now smiling and gurgling back at you, it’s easy to see how much joy you bring each other.  You really haven’t shown many signs of jealousy.  Impatience, yes, but not jealousy.  I expect you to be impatient at your age.

You definitely march to the beat of your own drum.  If there isn’t music on that you’re dancing to, sometimes you will just bust out in your own little dance routine.  I honestly don’t know where you picked that up from, because you are a much better dancer than your parents, combined.  You also love to sing.  Your current favorite song is, “I Love!” by, none other than you.  You just belt out “I love” repeatedly, but it more sounds like, “I lub” and it’s pretty adorable.  I hear it several times a day.  Sometimes it’s to me, sometimes it’s for your babies, and sometimes it’s just to whoever is within earshot.  You also love “Skidamarinky dinkydink.”  I’m not sure if you enjoy that one because Daddy has a funny dance and hand gestures that goes along with it, or if you just like the song because it’s a little silly.  You will often do some of the gestures along with us, and sometimes you will just sing your favorite part (I lub boo!)

Your vocabulary has grown.  A lot.  Some for the better, some for the worse.  You were playing with a balloon a few weeks back, and it popped.  I was a little scared because, hey, I am a little freaked when a balloon pops, and you were holding it.  It didn’t faze you, but you did say, “Oh, shit!”  Whoops!  On a different occasion, I dropped something on the kitchen floor that would stain the carpet (carpet in the kitchen?  I know!), and said shit, and then I heard my little echo in the other room say it about 20 more times.  We really need to start watching ourselves.  You love to say your sister’s name (Parper, or Harpah), please (cheese), Bubba (the nickname for the dog), and when we took you to the zoo, you repeated a LOT of the names of the animals back to us.  The most exciting words that you are learning right now are pee pee and poo poo.  You are starting to get the concept of what they are, which means potty training is on the way!  Yay!  Just this morning, you had a dirty diaper, and I changed it, and put you in your crib so that I could clean up, and you semi-squatted, and pointed to your diaper, and said, “Poo!  Poo!”  I asked you if you poo poo’ed again, and you kept doing it, and pointing, so I checked you out, but you hadn’t done anything…  I really do think you’re starting to understand it though.  You still won’t say it before we check you though… even that would be a big help.  Oh well, progress is progress.

Last week we took you to your first pumpkin patch.  You didn’t sleep well the night before, so we were ALL a little cranky that day.  They had some horses that could be ridden (both real and fake) and you didn’t like either one of them.  We took you inside a “museum” that they had set up, which was full of bugs on display, and some corn and pumpkin information too.  You didn’t really enjoy that either, until we got to the kiddie pool full of dried corn.  You loved that, and were a little mad once we took you out of it, and it stuck the rest of the day.  Finally, we took you to the pumpkin patch.  A real pumpkin patch where they grow pumpkins, and not just a dirt field, where they place pumpkins for you to pick out, don’t let anyone fool you on that.  Once we got off the hay wagon, there was a small pile of pumpkins that we set you on to take a picture, one of our friends was there, and handed you a small, completely not ripe, bright green pumpkin to hold.  That was your pumpkin.  We could not get you to set it down the entire time, you were in such awe of your pumpkin, and I was so glad that we got to take you there.  Your reaction to picking out your own, even though it wasn’t even ready to be picked, gave me such joy, especially when I saw your happy and amazed little smile that went with it every time you looked at it.  That evening we took you to the kiddie park for their Spook-a-rama.  We dressed you up as a little witch (the cutest witch ever by the way) but they were so crowded, and we were all so tired, so we walked around, rode the train around the park, which is the only ride you like, and headed home.

We also took you to the zoo that weekend.  It was your third time, and by far our best trip yet.  We went on a semi-cold, semi-rainy, Monday.  Let me tell you, that is the BEST day to go.  The place was not crowded at all, it stopped raining (minus a few sprinkles), and although it was cold at the start, we were all bundled up nicely, and it warmed up throughout the day.  You were so bright, and I could tell that you were absorbing everything we saw.  You repeated back a LOT of the animals we told you about, and many animals reacted to you.  The first thing we went to see was the gorillas.  They were acting goofy; like they have every other time we’ve been there, but this time you were standing at the window, watching when one came up, and gave you a kiss.  It kind of freaked you out, and you were a little upset, but at the end of the day, we had you next to the glass at the grizzly bear encounter, and he swatted at the glass, muddy paw and all, you didn’t seem bothered.  We will have to teach you a little bit better on that one.  During our lunch, we had a few bright visitors come by.  At first, you didn’t notice the peacocks hop into the pavilion, but then they went after food that someone else had left behind, and they started making noise, and you were tickled.  They hung around for about 30 minutes since daddy kept throwing them pieces of bread and cheese, and you loved every minute of it, they were anywhere from 1 foot to 5 feet away at all times.  Once they started clucking (or whatever noises they make that isn’t their loud call) you were even more thrilled.  That may have been the best part of the zoo for you.  We took you to the children’s zoo within the main zoo because last time we missed the petting zoo by about 3 minutes, so I wanted to make sure that we got in this time.  I thought you would really enjoy it, but you weren’t too impressed.  You pet a sheep, and that was that, you just kind of stood in the middle of the place, like, “What now?”  You enjoyed some other sheep, which you couldn’t pet, that we passed by because they were talking to you, and every time they would bleat, you would clap and giggle.  It was a good day.

Your mouth is full of little teeth.  Six on top, five on bottom (almost six though!)  You can feed yourself for the most part, although we are working on making it a little less messy.  Sometimes you get carried away with your fork, and I think you imagine it to be a magic wand with how you fling it around.  For some reason, every time you have a cup, you think it needs to be turned completely upside down, so we’re still trying to master the whole drinking on our own thing.  If the cup is a sippy cup, we are good, if it’s anything else, even with a lid and a straw, it’s a disaster.  You are good at brushing your teeth.  Daddy is trying to teach you how to spit, but so far, it hasn’t been successful.  You are trying though, so I have to give you credit.

I am so excited to see what the latter half of your year brings, but I am saddened because you are growing up so much already.  We rarely have our morning cuddles anymore, and you are little Miss. Independent with most things.  While I do look forward to doing things with you like little projects, crafts, and making things, I miss my baby, who needed me for everything.  Even the fact that you can now pull up your own pants, makes me a little sad, it’s just one less thing you need me for.  We have started to have wonderful moments together, like sharing Necco wafers, which I wouldn’t trade for the world.  I just wish I could have the best of both sides of the spectrum.  I love you, and as always, I am excited to see you grow!

Love,

Momma

Three Months

A whole bunch has changed, since I last wrote you.  You are 3 months now, and time is flying by too fast.  It seems like it is going by even faster than it did with Quinn, which makes me a little sad.

Today we were supposed to take you to your first Halloween celebration, but it was cold, and rainy, so it was cancelled.  We will try again tomorrow.  You are going as a cute little pumpkin!  Tomorrow we are also taking you to your first pumpkin patch.  It’s supposed to be cold tomorrow too, so I’m really debating what you will be wearing, we want to keep you snug and warm, and not let you get sick. 

You are still the happiest baby ever, and I am still convinced that sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night just to smile at me.  It’s such a sweet little smile.  Recently, you have been starting to giggle too.  It’s a quick little chuckle, and we usually can’t get you to repeat it, but it’s there, and we’ve heard it, and it’s absolutely delightful.

We finally got out of our bad living situation, and I am so grateful that you will never remember living in that house.  We are now in a (technically) smaller house, but it’s so much better laid out, and once you start exploring, you will have so much more room to do so.

It amazes me how different you and your sister are.  You are growing so much faster than she did, and we’re betting that by a year, you will probably outweigh her.  She is very petite, and always has been, and at your last doctor’s visit, a few weeks ago, you were already 12 pounds, she didn’t weigh that until she was almost 4 months old.  It’s ok though, it’s reassuring me that you are healthy, and growing along just fine.  It seems like you are always hungry, but again, you are a growing girl!

I got your crib built the other weekend, but you have only slept in it a handful of times.  Since you wake up a few times a night to eat, and you are sharing a room with your sister, I get lazy, and paranoid that you are going to wake her up, and then everyone will be awake in the middle of the night.  However, you have long outgrown your bassinet that is in our room, so we need to get something worked out for everyone.  You kick up a storm sometimes, and can seem really restless and wiggly, so you being in the bassinet wreaks havoc on my nerves sometimes.

You are a pro at tummy time, and actually prefer to be on your tummy for parts of the day.  You hold your head up really well.  You also enjoy time in your bouncy chair, and being in the swing, but it doesn’t seem like you have a favorite.  You seem to like variety.  You also love to sit and watch the fish swim around their tank, even though we don’t have many.

Landon, our dog, is very protective of you.  He was protective of Quinn too, when she was itty-bitty.  If you are on the floor, he is right there next to you, and if you are in either one of your seats, he is close by.  I would love to trust him more, because I know, he just wants a job to do, but after your sister was bit by our other dog, he makes me nervous—all dogs do.

Daddy enjoys giving you your baths as much as you enjoy getting them.  You love to splash around, and just have fun in general.  I’m sure when the summer comes back around, you will love swimming, and we may not be able to get you out of the water.

You still have your crazy hair, and everyone still loves it.  Small parts are starting to go down though, so it probably won’t last much longer.  Since colder weather is coming, I've tested out some hats on your little head, and you don’t seem to mind them.  I also bought some bows, and you let me put those in your hair too!  This makes me a little excited because Quinn never, and still won’t, let me put anything in her hair, so it’s nice I get to dress you up a little bit, even if it’s only for a little while.

Love,

Momma

Two Months.

Ok.  So, here we go.

Two months old... already?

Let’s start at the beginning.  During the late, late hours of July 17, 2013, I started to have some discomfort.  Around 3 am on the 18^th, I deduced this must be labor, and my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart, and about a minute and a half long.  Not a lot of time for recovery.  I had taken a shower the previous day, but I still felt dirty.  We had run errands, and gone to a doctor’s appointment, I needed another shower.  When I got out of the shower, I sent your dad a text.  He’s a pretty smart guy.  He had rigged up a program that when I text “babybaby” that no matter the ringtone volume, or time of day, an alarm would go off.  So imagine his surprise when the alarm goes off, he rolls over in bed, and I am not there.  I was downstairs, on the floor writhing in pain.  We managed to get everything together in a relatively sane fashion (me, anyway, I’m sure he was losing his mind, after all, it was about 4 am at this point), and on the road we went.

You’re already quite the troublemaker.  No sooner do we pull on to the highway to get to the hospital, but we fly (and I mean fly) past a cop car.  So here I am, in a lot of pain.  We have dad and me in the front seat, your sister, and the dog in the backseat, and a 45-minute drive ahead of us.  Not really my idea of a good time.  The last thing we need is to be pulled over and make this an even longer excursion.  So we call 9-1-1.  Explain the situation as calmly as possible.  Neither one of us can complete this process alone, so we help each other out.  The operator asks questions, when Dad can’t respond fast enough, I jump in.  They tell us to turn on the hazards, and be safe.  Will do.  Car fades away in the distance.  Seems like they got the message.  Don’t try this at home, kid. 

Get to the hospital.  My biggest fear, with it being so far, is that, despite the fact that I am now 40 weeks, and 1 day pregnant, this isn’t real labor, and they are going to send me home.  After I get into the maternity triage, they do an exam, and tell me that I’m at a 7, I nervously ask if that means that I have to go home, and they chuckle, and tell me no, that I’m staying there for a while.  Get to my room.  I have no concept of time at this point, but it hasn’t been very long.  Grandpa and Nana Tracey aren’t there yet to take Quinn, so she was hanging out with us for a while, not really sure what was going on.  They came shortly thereafter.

I wanted an epidural, stat, but I had to wait at least an hour, make it through an entire bag of fluids, and wait for the anesthesiologist to show up.  It was agonizing.  I think it actually took a lot longer than an hour, because of traffic, and the fact that they poked me at least 9 times because they couldn’t find a good place for the IV, and so I couldn’t even start the fluids for a while.  The anesthesiologist finally (he probably wasn’t that late, it just felt like it) shows up, sends Dad out of the room, and gets to work.  Once that was in, we were good for a while.  Until the pushing started.  About the time they went to call the doctor to come by (it was about 9ish at this point) I started freaking out.  I was not ready for you at all, I was actually crying pretty hard, and a lot of them dismissed it as emotions, but I was petrified of having another child; being a mother of two.  I NEEDED more time.  You didn’t give it to me.  At 9:52 am, there you were.  They put you on my chest, and you were a wiggly, screaming little being.  I cut your cord, and there you were child number two.  Seven pounds, six ounces, 21 inches long.

Dad didn’t want to “watch” you being born, but he later told me that once you were out, the cord was wrapped around your neck and that when you made your big debut into the world, you were purple, and he wasn’t even sure you were alive.  I’m glad that I was so focused on not screaming anymore and the most painful part over that I didn’t notice him, or you in that brief moment.  It was probably no big deal, because you were never rushed away, and no one ever said anything about it, but if I had seen the panic on his face, or I had seen you like that, I probably would have lost it.  We ended up staying at the hospital for two full days, and being discharged on the third because you were a little jaundiced, and they wanted to make sure you were good to go when we left.

Our first night home was challenging.  I wasn’t allowed to do anything but lift you, and we were all exhausted.  There was a lot of screaming, and many tears from everyone but we survived that first night alone, and that’s all that matters.  The next week was full of challenges as I didn’t feel like I could feed you, and we had a whirl of doctors’ appointments and consultant appointments on how to fix the issues we were having.  It took a lot of work, but by week two, we were back on track, and good to go.

Grandma Lynn came to visit when you were two weeks old for almost a month.  She was a big help because between you and your sister, I was exhausted, constantly.  You two are a force to be reckoned with, that’s for sure.

Not much has gone on in your first two months of life.  You were under your birth weight for a little while, then you shot up 2 pounds in a week, and you keep packing them on.  You have a good appetite, and in general, are a happy baby.  You do have a bit of reflux, which makes you not so happy at times, but we have medicine that we have to give you twice a day, and while it’s a big ordeal to give it to you, because it tastes horrible (yep, I taste tested it for you, but trust me, it could taste a lot worse) it makes you feel better in general, so I make you suffer through it.  You smile a lot, and gurgle a lot.  We love it.  Your sister constantly wants to play with you, and hold you, but she is a little too small at this point.  She is content sitting next to you, looking at you, rubbing your hair, and she will even help us burp you.  I hope you two will be this close later on in life.  The other day she was saying hi to you, you smiled at her, and she just beamed with happiness and pride.  I don’t know if you knew what she said, or knew who she was, but it made her entire day.

Nothing really bothers you, except dirty diapers.  The second your diaper is wet, we had better be on it, or you’re going to make us pay for it.  Most of the time, as soon as the diaper is off, and a fresh one is on, or on its way, you actually smile at us, as if to say “thanks!”  I love it.  You love to sit in the swing.  You generally don’t care if it actually swings or not, as long as the mobile goes around and around.  You sleep pretty well through the night.  You generally wake up twice a night, and I’m ok with that, I can usually get 6 hours of sleep a night.  I appreciate that.  A lot.  Oh, your hair.  Your hair is out of control!  No matter what we do, it sticks straight up.  It is always a hit though, I have yet to hear of anyone not liking it.  Hope that it doesn't last forever for you.

Thanks for joining our family kid.  As always, a rough start for everyone, but we worked through it.  Welcome to the madhouse.

Love,

Momma

Coming (Back) Soon

I go to run the dishwasher.  Its a portable one, because the bajillion year old house we live in doesn't have a normal one.  Doesn't have room for one, probably couldn't even support one, and there would probably be something wrong with it anyway.  So I go to plug it in, drop the plug in a cup of water.  Get so distracted wondering if I've dried it off enough or if I’m going to be electrocuted upon plugging it in, that I forget to hook up the water hose, and go about my way.  No big deal you say?  Oh no, it is a big deal, not only will it run without water, but it will drain without being hooked up... all over the floor… with the water that’s been sitting in the hoses from the last load of dishes.  Ugh.

This is my life.

We are in the midst of moving.  I’m hoping being on a single level house, although smaller, but better laid out, will improve my life so greatly, I will not only blog when my children hit important milestones in their life, but I will blog regularly, like I used to.  It was therapeutic.  I need therapy.  I will be back.  Soon!

One Year.

One whole year.  Where to even begin?  I don’t even know where the time went.  You are still my tiny little baby every time I look at you, yet, when I look back on pictures, you are not the same baby you were a year ago.  I am not the same person I was a year ago.  Sure, I’m sleep deprived, I don’t really have time for hobbies, or myself most of the time, and everything is messy, but I couldn't  and wouldn't trade it for the world, my world, you.

It seems like so much has happened, it’s hard to reflect on the last year.  Two weeks ago I quit my job.  Everyone was sick so often that it literally made no sense for me to work anymore because daycare was getting more money than I was being paid.  I can’t really say that it hurt me at all.  I get to spend my days with you now, and I don’t have to feel like I am letting daycare see all your firsts.  I also don’t have to sit and wonder who is taking care of you, and are they really doing the best job possible?  Not that I had any reason to doubt them, it’s just a thing a mother wonders… constantly, with everyone.  I only worked 6 ½ months, but it seemed like an eternity not being with you all the time.  I am so glad that we get these last few months together before the new baby comes, and life will be shared. 

I really don’t think you will mind the new baby.  You seem to love everyone (for the most part).  I can undoubtedly say that you love all children and babies.  Even when one is crying on TV, you try to hand them a pacifier to comfort them.  You are such a sweet girl.  Your last day at daycare was hard on everyone.  The daycare staff cried, they all said you were one of their favorites.  I’m sure they tell all parents that, but I somehow believe that it’s actually true.  You rarely cry, you are a joy to be around, you are so easy to please, and the only things you make remotely difficult are changing you, because you want to wiggle all around, and putting you in your car seat.  It was hard on me because they made you a goodbye card, and I’m emotional enough as it is being pregnant, so I just started bawling.  I worry that this is the wrong decision for only one reason: your friends.  You truly did have friends at daycare, and I worry, especially since you love children of all ages, that you will be lonely, and get bored with just me being around.  I have looked, and have yet to find any sort of mothers group around here, so I may need to expand my horizons to further away to see if there are any groups out there, so that we can still keep your social calendar full.  We left our phone number with your best friend’s, Lily, mother, since she had been out sick all week, so hopefully we can still keep in contact with her, and you two can remain friends.

Since daycare was closed on Good Friday, we took the opportunity to take you back to the Zoo, since Momma and Dada were off too!  Dada really wanted to take you back since you slept through your first trip, and half the exhibits were closed.  You really enjoyed it this time.  You stayed awake the entire time we were there, and we thought you may pass out on us around 2, but I think you just needed a little break from seeing so many things, because once we rested you were rearing to go again.  That was almost a full seven straight hours of action for you, and you didn't cry or get fussy once.  Maybe we were finally on top of our game with feeding and changing you, but I doubt it.  You were super good,  I was very proud.  I barely lasted that long, and I’m pretty sure I insisted on more breaks than anyone combined.  You loved seeing all the animals, but they were all pretty much just “dogs” to you.  Every time we’d see a new one, you’d point and say, “DOG!” very excitedly.  Once we got to the birds, some of them were ducks, but some were dogs too.  You will learn.  Some of the animals were crazy for you.  I think you liked the painted dogs, and the monkeys the best.  The monkeys always seem to put on a show for us when we are there, and they held true to that this time as well.  Afterwards we were all pretty beat.  We headed to Wal-Mart to find the perfect outfit for your birthday (Dada went a little crazy on this, and found what he wanted, but not in the right size, and we were on the hunt until we found it) ate some dinner (which you slept through) and headed home to crash.

Then we had Saturday, the 30^th.  Your first birthday.  Wow.  You came into this world at 10:34 am, screaming, and full of attitude, at 6 pounds, 9 ounces and 21 ½ inches long.  At your 1-year checkup, you weighed in at 20 pounds, 1 ounce, and 29 inches long.  My, how you've grown.  We had a lot to do that morning, since we had a few things to pick up for your birthday party, so it was a pretty crazy start to the day.  We were a little worried all morning because your birthday party was supposed to be outside, and at 6am, it started hailing.  At about 7am it was back to raining, and by 11am it was a cloudless sky.  The weather is bizarre.  I was also concerned because we had reserved a Ramada at the park from 11am to 4pm, and a week later the fire department had reserved the park for the same day from 9am to 11am for an Easter Egg hunt.  I was scared, especially with the weather, that they would not be out of our area on time, and we wouldn't have the time to decorate for your party.  We got to the park around 11:30am, and the place was cleared out, so I don’t know if they cancelled their event, or they really had their stuff together, and got out of there on time.  We started decorating, and before we knew it, we were almost out of time!  Eep!  Overall, we had a great time with family and a few friends.  We even invited your favorite teacher from daycare, who came, and loved getting to spend time with you.  Since they had moved you from her classroom 4 months ago, she has really missed you.  You didn't really care for the BBQ part of your party, probably because you didn't eat anything, but you loved playing with balloons and looking at all the decorations hanging around.  You had fun smashing your birthday cake, but you needed a little coaching, and you loved it when everyone would clap and cheer for you, and of course, you loved opening your presents.  (Who doesn't?)  Another tiring day on the books, but well worth it to see the look of happiness on your face.  

I feel like this is shorter than it needs to be.  I feel like I am missing so much, but at the same time it’s hard to write down every detail without going into the “boring” everyday things, like how many diapers you had that day, and what you ate.  You are a lovable child; I have yet to meet someone who doesn't want to be around you, I actually have people ask me to babysit you, instead of me having to go look for a babysitter, but I don’t take many people up on the offer.  You love to do so many things.  You love being outside in general, you love baths (and even showers), you love bubbles, you are starting to enjoy different foods, but yogurt hands down is your all-time favorite food, which is surprising since you haven’t been eating it that long, but If you even see a yogurt cup (meant for you or not) you go bonkers.  You are finally starting to eat some solids, but you are a little iffy on things that you have to chew, and don’t just eventually melt in your mouth.  It’s been challenging to say the least, but for the most part, you are a trooper.

Not that you are old enough to remember it, but I really hope that you have enjoyed your first year of life, as much as we've enjoyed having you as a huge part of ours.  Neither one of us knew we would be able to be so utterly and completely in love with someone so amazing.

Love you more than you will ever know.

Love,

Momma